Voice recognition: Snot purr feck jet

I have an XFinity phone line at the house which has a neat feature where it emails you the voice mail audio file when someone leaves a message. A few months ago, I found out that you can also have it transcribe the voice mail for you. That's turned out to be pretty entertaining, a real hit and miss on the transcriptions. Here are a few with the transcription in italics and what the person actually said right below it.

The caller left a voicemail, but due to the quality of the message, the voicemail was unable to be transcribed. This may be a result of too much background noise or the message was left in an unsupported language.

This is what I get every time my wife, Mary, leaves me a message. Apparently her Texas accent is considered an unsupported language. I can see that.

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Oh Randy it's it's D one thirteen. I got your the Excel list. It's stuck(?) so on and I will reseed(?) accordingly.

Hello, Randy. It's 1:13. I got your Excel list. It's excellent and I will proceed accordingly.

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I'm responding to a Yahoo call couple days ago.

I'm responding to a call a couple days ago.

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You take out-state-farm(?) Road take go left on Pop pills and take them down take a right on Spruce Street.

That's in Country Farm. You take Snake Pond Road. Take a left on Uphill and take a right on Spruce Tree.

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"Hey Randy it's Dad. Saturday morning quarter to eleven your time. I need your address. So call back. Talk to you later."

My only comment on this one is that my dad died in 1996.

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I'm calling little early here. I'm trying to throw up... Give me a call back when you have a chance.

I'm calling a little early here. Sorry, my number is... And you can call back when you have a chance.